WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR GIRL HAS GONE COLD AND DISTANT
Almost every man on this planet will eventually experience his girl going cold. It completely takes you by surprise because you think you’re doing everything right. plus, she didn’t tell you anything until she decided to drop the bomb on you. In this article, I’m going to show you how to deal with a girlfriend that has gone cold and distant from you.
First, we need to talk about all the signs that you’re going to see when your girlfriend goes cold and distant from you.
Sign #1 – Her calling and messaging habits change
One of the first things to happen when she goes cold is the texting begins to change. it will feel suddenly very cold. she will start taking a lot of time responding to you while remaining completely disengaged. this will completely throw you off guard because it could have been a week ago or even days ago when she was completely warm towards you. She might even stop responding to your messages entirely. Look out for both. If you guys talked on the phone more than you guys texted the same rule applies.
Sign #2 – She seems disinterested and what you’re saying
This one throws guys off as well because again it wasn’t long ago when she was interested in what she had to say. Reciprocation is the name of the game in relationships. A relationship is never supposed to be a one-sided engagement. When your girl backs off it’s going to feel like you’re doing all of the work and none of his being returned to you.
Maybe you guys have some sort of inside joke or something that you guys have been talking about and normally should be really excited to hear about it and now she’s just not. it seems like she couldn’t care less.
Sign #3 – She doesn’t laugh or seem happy around you anymore
Was she giddy and bubbly whenever she saw you? and now she’s completely indifferent and cold. This is a sure-fire sign that she is pulling away. When women are attracted to you there laugh at almost everything that you do. so when that attraction fades everything just kind of feels dull.
Sign #4 – She’s incredibly hard to talk to
whenever I coach guys one of the things that they bring up is how hard it is to talk to a woman that is pulling away. You may start asking her why she is doing what she’s doing, and she won’t give a straight answer to you. it’s almost like she’s speaking in code.
whereas before she started going cold, she is very easy to talk to. as you read further, you’re going to see a certain theme about this blog post which is contrast
When you study feminine energy and female nature you can pick up on subtle differences in behavior. The difference in contrast won’t seem so big. this is one of the first lessons I teach my students who go through my coaching program because once you see a woman slightly pulling away or she seems slightly off you still have a window of opportunity to fix it.
She will also seem distracted and not very interested in what you’re saying or doing. not a whole lot you can say or do will make her happy.
Sign #5 – She doesn’t want to spend any time with you
This is how you know she’s truly pulling away because women and their feminine energy want to bond and connect with you. if she no longer wants to spend any time with you, she must be pulling away and going cold for some reason. it could be attraction is falling but this is one of the strongest signs that something is really off.
Normally when you guys hang out eventually, you’re going to get intimate. so, if you notice intimacy dropping and she’s no longer interested in having sex with you she is going cold and putting distance between you.
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Some reasons why your girlfriend is going distant on you
In order to fix any kind of distance issues you must understand why she might be pulling away and putting distance between you.
Reason #1: She’s losing attraction to you
This right here is one of the main reasons why she starts getting distant and cold toward you. whether your relationship is really long, or short attraction must remain high in order for you to stay together.
There could be many different reasons why she’s losing attraction for you which I’ll get to later on in the blog post. too much negativity over a long period of time will usually drive attraction down.
Negativity usually comes in the form of complacency, insecurity, and a general lack of understanding of how females operate. a great example of that is fighting. fighting with a woman is completely pointless ’cause it doesn’t lead anywhere. it’s really just a form of communication.
When two people fight they’re trying to get their point across to the other person. sometimes one individual isn’t listening or doesn’t care. a fight will break out and usually, somebody gets loud or they say hurtful things.
When a woman loses attraction for you, she will eventually go cold and stop talking to you. when a woman is attraction is really high, they want to be around you more. it can be very difficult for a woman to come back around once attraction has dropped especially if the man does not know what he is doing. You have to be able to handle the break up properly by knowing when to push him and when to pull.
She is very busy
sometimes people forget that their significant other has an individual life or they have expectations that they put on the significant other two sometimes drop certain priorities for the relationship.
I see this a lot for people who are in college and university. guys will call me because their girls are pulling away and the first thing I’ll ask is “is she doing exams right now?”
when somebody pulls away from you it’s very hard to not take it personally. people will start seeing every little thing like it’s an attack on them. when somebody has been a busy individual life something in their life has to give in order to fit there priorities. most of the time the relationship needs to take a backseat until whatever is taking up their focus starts to burn away. school doesn’t really last that long (at least the intense part like exams) so if she’s pulling away from you the general idea that you have to take away from this is you have to remain cool and calm.
so many guys freak out and the women that they are with end up going is this the same guy ?
it completely takes women by surprise when a man acts out of pocket.
a lot of the time the beginning of a relationship can take so much time and energy that other priorities in her life have taken a backseat like friendships and family time and she may want to put some more time and energy into those things that matter.
don’t take it so seriously and just focus on yourself for a little while. stay relaxed!
She is testing you
Women test for many different reasons and sometimes those reasons matter and sometimes they don’t. sometimes women will test you because they think that you’re weak and they want you to step up. sometimes they test you just because they want to start a pot a little bit and make things exciting. the point is you have to handle the tests properly in order to keep her attraction high or even raise it.
If you let your emotions get the best of you attraction will fall. she wants to know that the guy that she is with is not going to be moved by her actions and what she does. the man is supposed to be the rock, the mountain, the place that she can come to when she feels like she needs some comfort.
if she tests you as she begins to get colder on you, you are failing her tests.
She doesn’t want to get hurt
I often see this when a woman has gone into a new relationship, and she hasn’t gone over the old relationship yet. she will not want to rush into things because she’s afraid to get hurt because the last relationship burned her so badly.
she may even still talk to this X from time to time which is just going to bring back those painful memories and emotions for her. a part of our even knows that she can’t go back to him or even have him in her life anymore, but she won’t want to commit, or she might put up walls before she commits.
sometimes those walls come in the form of cold and distant behavior because she’s trying to figure out her emotions and figure out what she’s going to do going forward. she may really like you, but a relationship is to individual people coming together to share their lives together. if one of those individuals is not ready to do so there is no relationship.
I see a lot of guys want to force a woman to be ready which is obviously not right. this is what happens when we want something so badly, we tried to bend people’s free will in order to satisfy our needs and wants.
The truth is we have to figure out why we want these things so badly and figure out why we feel like we lack them and heal that. when you heal your issues, first of all, it’s far more attractive to the opposite sex and second of all you won’t have a lack and a relationship will flow very naturally.
She is interested in somebody else
one woman begins to pull away this is usually the first thing that goes through guy’s mind. now sometimes this actually does happen and what women will sometimes do is called monkey branching which is when she gets into another relationship before she lets go of the old one. she will start creating distance between the old relationship in the old guy and then she will start hanging out with the new guy more and more.
Usually at the same time, the guy begins to chase and pursue making him look even weaker further reinforcing her decision to leave.
that’s why it is imperative that when a woman walks away from you, you mirror her actions and continue to work on yourself.
it is extremely hard to accept the fact that your girl may be seeing another guy. the first thing that pops into our head is the fact that she might be having sex with somebody else.
You have something about it pretty quickly and if you want help with that book a call with me ASAP.
she has an avoidant personality
People who have avoidant personalities have a hard time forming connections and bonds with people. There is a theory out there called attachment theory and there are a few different types of personality traits. one of those is the avoidant type.
if this is your girl she’s going to have a hard time forming a bond with you which is really important in keeping her interested and keeping the intimacy alive. sometimes what will happen is they will actually start forming a bond with you and then they will pull away and sometimes they pull away more often than a normal woman would.
the mistake that guys often make is thinking that they can change her. they think that all love will conquer all which is all horseshit. I do a lot of calls with a lot of guys and a lot of those guys live in fantasyland trying to avoid reality because it hurts. I understand you may be really interested in a girl and you really want it to work out but the longer that you live in fantasyland and avoid reality the longer It will take for you to find a girl who really does want to be there.
a coaching student of mine was so obsessed with this one girl that didn’t really want him but just kept him in the friend zone and gave him some false belief that something would eventually happen. he fell for it for several months and instead of circulating and focusing on dating new women who actually were interested in him he just focused on her. rejection does breed obsession so he wanted to figure out why she didn’t want him instead of just getting back out there and talking to new girls. some guys get so fixated on one particular woman they forget to live their lives. Fellas. if one girl doesn’t want you to move on!
she’s been thinking about breaking up with you for some time
Before women leave you they will often think about it for several days, weeks, months, and sometimes years depending on how long the relationship was. like I said earlier too much negativity will breed a breakup. if things aren’t going in a positive direction she will lose faith in the relationship and want to break up with you.
women don’t really want to stay in situations that don’t suit them and help propel things forward. I mean why would they? it makes no sense. Men often stay in relationships that no longer serve them much longer than women do. There is a lesson in that.
when she loses attraction for you her respect will also drop and she’ll start becoming more disrespectful and even sometimes mean. sometimes people do this because they want you to break up with them so they don’t feel as guilty about breaking up with you. the hardest part about all this is she is not even going to tell you that she’s feeling this way she’s just going to treat you with disrespect which is sometimes a test. sometimes guys get so wimpy in their relationships that they forget to stand up for themselves and their women want them to stand up for themselves. No woman wants to be with a weak man who won’t stand up for himself.
you could argue that women’s testing is actually a very good thing for us men because it keeps us sharp and in our masculine frame. however, that being said men only want to do that for high-quality women.
she won’t be able to hide her feelings forever and she will eventually break up with you if she feels like the relationship is not going to go in a positive direction.
How to get her back if she pulls away from you
About 95 to 97% of men chase and pursue when a woman walks away from them. If you want to stand out and be the best choice in her eyes you need to be strong and not swayed by the fact that she wants to walk away from you. I understand how difficult it is to do this because you really care for her and you don’t want to be with anybody else but that being said you need to display strength and confidence.
If there was a lot of weakness in the relationship up until now if you decide to show strength and display strength it will throw her off guard because she is so used to you being weak.
remember men are like dogs and women are like cats. sometimes women just pull away and do their own thing and then come right back. the more you chase a cat the further it will run from you and eventually it will never come back if you chase too hard.
Mirror her actions, and remember she wants a strong man, not a weak man. A strong man will display indifference to a woman’s actions because he has his own plans for his own life. if she wants to walk away he will let her walk away. he has things to focus on the things to do.
99% of the time it is the men who have nothing going on in their lives who chase women so hard that they can’t think for themselves. These men totally forget how to act in a relationship.
What I want you to do is write down what you want your life to look like.
There is an exercise called “the perfect day exercise”. this is just writing down and visualizing what your perfect day would look like from waking up all the way to going back to bed.
get very detailed about this and focus on how to get these things. finding a mentor is the fastest way to actually get to that end goal because they have walked that path already.
if you want coaching on how to do some of these things that can help you.
if not go on the Internet and find somebody who is exactly where you want to be and see if they offer coaching services and hire them. they will give you the shortcut because they have already made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to.
Closing thoughts
personally, speaking I’ve never been bad at attracting women. but keeping a woman in my life was hard. sustaining attraction is one of the hardest things to do if you do not understand women and female nature.
women want to have fun and they want to have a positive life just like anybody else. but they operate off of emotions. if you understand women and understand how their emotional center works you will never be bad with women anymore and you understand what to do when they pull away from you and when they come close to you etc.
I understand what you’re going through and all you really have to do is buckle down and understand all of the right concepts.
- female nature
- attraction skills
- individual self-growth
if you do these three things every single day you will never problem with women ’cause you’ll know exactly what to do.
done
