How to Get Back With Your Ex? 10 Powerful Steps

How to get back with your ex is the most commonly asked question online and is said in many different ways

They usually think this way because they assume it will just work out without putting much effort into fixing the issue

I know how lost you feel right now. I remember back then I had very little advice from people that were outside my family

its hard to know why someone would want to fully walk away from you

Most of the time it’s multiple reasons and sometimes its just one reason

Check out this post here – Signs your ex will eventually come back

Too much negativity is always going to end a relationship eventually

Most of the people at that time who were talking about getting your ex back and how to attract women kept it all behind a paywall which was something I couldn’t afford at the time

I want to help you for free here and give you step by step guide to help you get your ex back

How to get back with your ex

There is a process for understanding the reasoning behind the breakup and it really begins with looking back at the relationship and its issues

Most people are aware of the issues they do have and they do know what they can do to fix them but they aren’t ready to face the harsh reality that it will take work and patience to get there

When someone walks away from a relationship they aren’t really looking to hear excuses. Their emotions just aren’t there right now

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge the mistakes that were made in the relationship actually I think you should be detailed in letting your ex know that YOU know what those issues are

Your ex will know it takes A LOT of time to fix certain issues. Issues like communication and boundaries

The first step to getting things rolling with an ex again is the recognition or awareness

This is the first step of my coaching program. I make sure you are WELL aware of what you need to work on

Remember it comes back to the negativity or negative behaviors that drive a wedge between you two

Cutting out negative behaviors and reinforcing positive behaviors will make her much more attracted to you

1. Negativity took its toll and they need time

This happens a lot and most don’t even realize it. I said this above but it’s important you understand why this happens and why you’re ex wants to get away from you

Negative emotions will eventually form a LOGICAL reason why she shouldn’t be with you

if she feels unhappy with you OVER and OVER again she will think to herself “why am I with this guy” same thing goes for men leaving women even though they do it less

The truth of the matter is they didn’t just lose their feelings and interest overnight, they have been feeling this way for quite some time and things just continued to get worse for them

Your ex was not and is not confident that this relationship is going to provide the same level of happiness it once did

the first step in them having confidence that you are going to work on the issues is of course AWARENESS

They need to be aware that YOU are aware of the issues

Communicate that to them

Some people on the internet are straight up ignoring their ex because they’re listening to certain “gurus” on the internet

Some of these people are pick up artists and might be great at attracting women but are they keeping these women in their lives?

now, you shouldn’t be keeping everyone woman because the whole point of dating is to figure out if the person you’re with is compatible with you

but every relationship needs to keep the other party ATTRACTED over TIME

sustaining attraction is the most important and VASTLY overlooked aspect to keeping a relationship hot

That person that dumped you no longer DESIRES you and you need to think back to what made you desirable in the first place

It takes major balls to look back at yourself and put yourself through the grinder. It hurts and it’s not going to stop for a while

things get better but they get worse before they do

This is the only way forward

Awareness is the first step but action is the second and you need to take action on these things

Sometimes people need some external help so if you want coaching hit the tab on the top of the site for ex-back coaching

2. They weren’t perfect either

I would be a millionaire if i had a nickel for every time i heard this in a coaching call

“but she had her faults too!!!”

“and?” which is my first thought after this is said

i know your ex has their faults BUT they are the ones walking away NOT you

Good luck trying to change someone that isn’t emotionally invested in you

The people that say this are usually just frustrated which I totally understand but if you were that unhappy why did you stay?

issues don’t just magically disappear unless the person you’re with is a self-improvement god

They need to be aware of the issues just like you are aware of your own now

One thing I will agree with is that they did give up on you

Sometimes rightfully so but they did give up on you and sometimes they give up too easy

You should be self-aware

The questions I usually ask are

Did they voice to you their issues with you? Did they tell you how much of an issue they’re having with you?

usually, people don’t just give up overnight like mentioned before

Something to take note of is women don’t want to teach you these things

For the men reading this women just want you to “get it”

3. Remaining self aware and honest

Having a successful relationship always starts with the individual

Things usually get out of hand when fears come into place

Fear is a huge problem in our world today as it makes people do strange things

Humans have a ton of different fears. Fear of loss, fear of the unknown, fear of change, etc

You have to become comfortable taking your fears head-on

That is the only way to get to the other side and yes things can get ugly for a little while but handling the fear early can often provide much more happiness

To give an example. I was helping this guy out by teaching him how to make money online.

He had this fear of letting go of his old job because it was familiar

People do this in relationships too btw

He began making more money through his side hustle than his actual job and he still wanted to keep it

it took him 6 months to let go of that fear

I had to tell him that basically, no “job” is safe

A company can tell you that you’re no longer needed anytime

Now I want you to check your fears and kick them in the ass

This will help you with your relationships immensely

Sometimes people have a fear of just standing up to their girlfriends/boyfriends out of the fear they may upset them thus leading them to leave

You have to be honest with yourself if you think you have a chance of having a successful relationship

ask yourself this question and write it down so its on paper and clear

“what do I fear and why”

Once you figure this out you can now take action steps to kill that fear

One of the main reasons a woman will leave a man today is insecurity

Insecurity is a huge turn-off and it’s because of one thing… FEAR

I coach a lot of guys who before they came to me would HATE it when their girlfriends would go out with their friends

They would assume the worst and think that she is talking to other guys

Some guys would even call their girlfriends ENDLESS times throughout the night just to get some sort of security from her that everything is okay

does that sound attractive to you?

HELL NO

If you want to learn how to get back with your ex you have to first let go of all the fear you may have that you may lose them or you’ll never find someone like them

Its a scarcity mindset and it DOESN’T serve you

4. We’re you needy or insecure?

Many people today are needy for their partners

In my opinion, a lot of people are growing up without a great example of what love really is between two normal healthy people

so when people enter relationships they don’t actually have a good handle on when to give someone else and let the relationship breathe

A relationship needs time to breathe. Even if you want to see the other person all the time its not always necessary to do so

I tell my students to relax and dial things back all the time. You don’t need to see your significant other 7 days a week. 3 – 4 times a week is fine and even less will still work fine as well as long as you guys are remaining positive

One thing to remember is that LESS is MORE

many people in relationships have a scarcity mindset and these days there is too much of that around

Developing an abundance mindset is the key to happiness and keeping a relationship together

The idea behind this is that you don’t need each other to be happy, you want and desire each other but you don’t NEED each other

You have individual lives that make you happy already and you are coming together to share it with someone else

5. Focus on yourself

This is huge. I have coached people that have been in really long relationships. Some range from 1 – 2 years and some range 30 plus years

Its easy to get lost during the relationship and forget about you and your needs

This happens in almost every consultation i do. In some way, shape or form they haven’t focused on themselves and they purely focused on the other person

This creates a strange paradox because that person most likely lost attraction to you because of that

Many relationships end because of complacency. This shows up in many forms like

• Gaining weight
• Hygiene
• Not talking to friends or family
• They stop going on dates and doign fun activities
• Treat eachother like roommates instead of lovers

If you focus on the relationship for too long you will eventually lose sight of yourself so never stop focusing on you

During this time I would highly recommend you get back into shape if you’re not already in shape

This does a few things for you

• It shows you’re making changes (especially if you post about it on social media)
• You’re getting healthy
• You’re setting goals and sticking to them

These things are major things that people want in a person. Nobody wants to be with someone that is lazy, doesn’t have goals or plans, and doesn’t shower

Setting goals and achieving them is going to boost up your confidence as well. You’re going to start thinking more positively.

When someone dumps you self esteem is in the toilet. It’s massively hard to get up and want to do anything. what I get my students to start doing is walking and lifting some weights. For 14 days that is your only job.

I also get them to read but that doesn’t take a whole lot of mental energy daily to read a few pages.

one thing I noticed though is the most successful students have read all the books and done all the homework.

They are usually back with their ex or with a new woman within a year’s time.

6. Do you actually think you can get them back?

A lot of people who come to my coaching program don’t actually believe they can get their ex back

They think because their ex said “this” and “that” they won’t hear anything at all ever again

This is just not true. People say and do things because of their emotions. Most of the time logic just isn’t there

However, I will say this. When someone associates you with a negative emotion ENOUGH TIMES they will logically come to the conclusion they shouldn’t be with you

Too many people just assume their ex isn’t coming back and with access to the internet people will find situations that are similar to theirs and will come to a conclusion

What you should do is do all the self-reflection and focus on that part of you and just see what happens

With my experience I have seen situations that I thought “this isn’t going to work” and they end up getting back together

On the flip side of that, there are situations I was betting they would get back together and they didn’t

You never know what might happen so you might as well be prepared anyways

If that person loved you once they can love you again or rather they can be attracted to you again.

The re-attraction process needs to be handled correctly

You need to remember how you were at the beginning of the relationship

You were confident, attractive, funny, fun to be around, etc

That confidence needs to be remembered by you.

Gaining your confidence back is essential to them trusting that things will be better and more positive the second time around

7. Change takes time… And your Ex Knows that

I wish this wasn’t the case but it is. change takes time.

Guys tell me all the time that “things will be different” “I’ve changed” “I’m a better man”

It does take time to become the person you always wanted to be and your ex saw that same potential

A person will date you because they think you can make them happy. They build up an idea of you in their head and they want you to live up to that idea

Sometimes it’s not fair because some people have unrealistic expectations

Most people are pretty good with these expectations but when things go the opposite direction… thats when breakups happen

I’ve coached all kinds of guys. Some are alcoholics, some are addicted to video games, some are mommy’s boys who can’t let go of mom

whatever the issue is it will take time for that to change. When you tell your ex ” I’ve changed” they will know it’s bullshit.

We all know how people don’t just change overnight

This is just emotion speaking out loud because what you’re really saying is I will become who YOU want me to be so we can get back together

The thing is, you might actually want to change but you just never really got around to it.

Your ex wants you to make changes for you, not for them. That’s why telling them you’re going to change is useless. It will go in one ear and out the other.

Above I said that they should know you’re working on yourself and that is true, but they will know when you’re telling them that just so they will take you back VS actually doing it for yourself

give yourself that much needed time to grow and heal anyway because the truth is… it’s just going to hurt for a while

No amount of force is going to take the thoughts away quickly, so just focus that energy on positive things.

Like I said before they might actually call you and if you’ve done no work on yourself then what’s the point in them coming back?

8. Don’t put your ex on a pedestal

This is far too common. Your ex is a person. They have flaws and have made mistakes.

After a breakup dumpees think their ex is a god sometimes

It’s easy to forget their flaws when they no longer want you because truthfully their attraction level just shot through the roof

since they’re willing to walk away from you, their value just spiked massively

It’s quite amazing what some people will try to do after they get dumped by their ex

Some guys think that asking her to marry him is a smart move

By the way I’m not trying to make fun of anyone who has tried doing silly things to get their ex back

I don’t judge you. I just observe and report my findings

Remember they dumped you. I really want you to think about that. They decided to throw you aside and walk away

I want you to value yourself and your time

9. The no contact rule

Ahh the infamous no contact rule

Some people swear by it and some people hate it and think its totally useless

I am all for it and ill explain why here

Your ex decided a while ago that you’re not the one they want to be with anymore but most of the time stayed with you much longer than they wanted to

Which means attraction kept falling lower and lower as each day went by because they didn’t know the breakup was coming

People get blindsided by breakups often and they don’t see it coming because many don’t know how to read the body language of someone who is disinterested

I want you to think back

Did your ex want to be intimate with you less and less?

Were they going out more?

Were they not so nice to you? But before they were always kind and caring towards you?

People can actually tell when their ex is losing attraction but the cold hard truth is they don’t want to face it

When my clients are on the phone with me they say it all the time “I knew it was coming but i didn’t want to accept it”

The thing that stands out most is the distance your significant other is displaying

By the time you even notice distance its usually too late

You have to become extremely aware of a person’s body language when they are not attracted or interested in you

No contact works very well because many people simply can’t just simply walk away from their ex

Especially men. Men have a much harder time walking away from their ex-girlfriends. Men will put up with a lot more crap from a woman than a woman will from a man

No contact will help you appear stronger simply because walking away is strong

Begging and pleading your ex to stay with you is the absolute worst thing you can do

It makes you look desperate, needy, and weak.

Don’t hesitate to use no contact. It is your best friend when your significant other decides to drop the breakup bomb on you

It can be really hard for people to understand that no contact is the most powerful thing you can do in most cases

People that do coaching with me try really hard to find little ways they can get around doing no contact so they can DO something to move things forward

You must let the process of no contact work!

I understand that you want to MAKE things happen. This is especailly something men think they need to do but when it comes to relationships you have to understand that time and space often workout if you give them space

10. PICKING UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF

DO NOT DO THIS!

This is not how your ex is going to be feeling or thinking at all

They are just getting through the emotional roller coaster

When im coaching clients i talk about something called the

See, when a relationship ends the emotional dial is turned up to 11

Before getting back together that dial needs to turn way down

You can’t just go back to where you guys left off.

Attraction is a process

Its a process you have to go back through again as you did at the beginning of the relationship

There is much more to relationships than love. Just because that person loves you doesn’t mean they are totally attracted to you

Attraction needs to stay high in order for them to continue wanting to be with you

This is something that needs to be understood on your first date (or first date again)

You are going out with them to have a good time.

Relationships are FAR too serious today.

People get so caught up in getting married and having children instead of having fun and letting the rest fall into place

A thought I have developed over the years I’ve been doing this is questioning what a relationship really is

I don’t think many people sit around and question this kind of thing but I’m a weirdo like that

A relationship is two people spending moments in time together

Earlier I said that too much negativity will drive someone away because at the end of the day we have a short amount of time here

Very few people are going to stay in a relationship that is toxic and negative

BONUS TIP on how to get back with your ex #1 GIVE THEM THE BREAKUP

This one might sound weird to you guys

This might overlap with some of the advice above as well but continue reading anyways

Your ex is expecting you to be there after they leave whether they believe it or not

They might even tell you to move on which is also a strange thing to hear

BUT the best thing you can do to catch them off guard is GIVE THEM THE BREAKUP

When they actually say those words to you I want you to say ” ok, I would much rather work on things with you but if this is what you want I won’t stop you”

Something along those lines. Now I know many of you are here reading this after you’ve already gone through your breakup but some people will see this in time.

Also until you learn this material and know it so well you might still go through a few more breakups in the future ( i really hope not) so use that line when you’re faced with that

This kind of thinking comes from sales. Selling is really an art form and when you study it you can see how much of what happens during a sale applies to a relationship

Dumpers get really confident that they can get you back. Which sounds terrible but they do.

giving them the breakup will make them think ” hmmm, ok that’s not the reaction I was expecting”

They won’t immediately take it all back because they’ve already come to the decision but they will begin to think you are stronger than they thought

Strength (emotional) is attractive. People always value someone that is rare. It is pretty rare that people act strong during a breakup

BONUS TIP on how to get back with your ex #2 GIVE THEM THE BREAKUP I’ve been blocked how can I get her back if I’ve been blocked?

This isn’t as bad as it seems. It’s not GOOD but it’s not that bad either

Blocking seems more serious than it really is

This just means that your ex doesn’t want you to be able to see what they’re doing, or they’re are tired of hearing from you and seeing what you’re doing

This breakup isn’t easy on them. it’s much harder for the dumpee for sure but your ex isn’t having the easiest time in the world either (unless they’ve completely moved on)

look at it like this… it takes just a couple button presses to unblock you

Now i know some social media apps will make them unfollow you when they block you. Again it takes nothing to re add you. People see it like its the end of the world but really all it means is right now they don’t want to see you or talk to you or see what you’re doing

This can actually be helpful to you because you can use this time to work on yourself even harder (which is always the answer)

this is my youtube channel incase you came here from google

https://www.youtube.com/c/MasculineEnergy