Complete Guide For Men To Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

Love is something that everyone experiences in their life, with love being the main motivator behind a lot of people’s actions and ideals. The idea of love can be expanded to the feeling you have for your family, friends, and even a significant other.

All these feelings are love, just on different levels. Love is a beautiful feeling that we are blessed to feel. Love is all around us in our media, public displays of affection, and the other inhabitants of Earth. Without love, the world as we know it would not be what it is.

When it comes to romantic relationships, it gets a bit more complicated when compared to the unconditional love you have for your family. A romantic and intimate relationship with another person is not easy to achieve and maintain. They require support, advice, and a deeper level of understanding.

Women have it easy, there are resources all over about relationships for them. They have access to magazines with advice columns, hundreds of books, and nearly every romance movie is set from the woman’s perspective. Us men have a harder time finding the same information they receive on a daily basis.

There is also the stereotype that men are lazy towards relationships and don’t put in the effort. It is believed that men can’t deal with conflict and will just push it to one side and ignore it as that is the easier option.

While there are some truths to these stereotypes, it is mainly due to a lack of knowledge than a lack of caring about relationships.

This article aims to provide the necessary knowledge about how to build and maintain a healthy relationship. Soon you will be a better partner and a better person for it.

Are You In A Healthy Relationship?

If you are already in a relationship, it is important to understand if it is healthy or not. This can be difficult to recognize as most people in relationships are blinded by rose-tinted glasses.

In truth, if you are in a healthy relationship you will probably never think about whether or not it is healthy. But is always good to step back and look at your relationship and how it is progressing.

Ask Yourself The Following Questions

There are a few questions that you can ask to establish how healthy your relationship is. If you answer ‘yes’ to most of these questions, more than likely you are in a good and equal relationship.

Do you feel safe around your partner?

Feeling a natural sense of safety around your partner is normal. This safety should come both physically and emotionally.

Most people consider an unsafe relationship one that involves physical violence, when in fact about half of all women and men in the US have experienced psychological aggression in their life from an intimate partner.

Reaching out when in an unsafe relationship is difficult, and isn’t exclusive to women. You need to feel safe in your relationship, and both people in the relationship should feel this.

Do you and your partner have respect for each other?

A mutual amount of respect needs to be in a relationship. You both need to respect each other’s goals, wishes, and actions.

Without respect, or respect from only one side will cause the relationship to become unbalanced, and eventually, it will fall apart.

Do you have boundaries?

Everyone is entitled to boundaries in a relationship. These can be simple actions or cover a large part of your relationship like the sexual or intimate aspects.

A healthy relationship is not just about setting boundaries but having them respected. If a boundary has been crossed multiple times despite conversations about it, that is not a healthy relationship.

Is one of you controlling?

Relationships are about being equal partners. Both partners need to be in control of themselves, and not the other person.

Controlling a partner in a relationship is a form of abuse and should not be tolerated.

How much time do you spend together?

It is common for people to believe that you need to spend every moment with your partner for it to be healthy, but this is not the case.

It is good to spend time apart and be our own person, spending too much time together will cause you to lose yourself in your relationship.

Is there an equal amount of effort between the two of you?

A relationship involves multiple people, not just one. If someone doesn’t put effort into the relationship, that could be a sign of a relationship breaking down and becoming unequal and unhealthy.

Do you feel heard?

Feeling heard in a relationship shows that your partner is still interested in you. You want your partner to hear and understand your problems and successes.

Do you accept them for who they are?

If your partner is trying to change you into their ‘perfect partner’ then they are not the one for you. You need to be with someone who loves you as you are, flaws and all.

Can you be yourself around them?

Relationships should bring out the best in you, with your partner being one of the few people you can be yourself around.

Your partner should not make you feel like you have to hide a part of yourself around them in order to retain their love.

Do you share the same goals?

This involves your dreams as a person, and what you want to have in your relationship. For example, if you want to travel or have children, you want a partner who also shares those ideals.

Are you happy?

The main goal in life is to be happy, and this involves your relationship. Even the most perfect and healthy relationship won’t immediately make you feel happy.

Your personal happiness is important and should be considered when looking at your relationship.

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

While it is easier to build a healthy relationship from the ground up, you can always make an established relationship healthier.

Building a healthy relationship takes a lot of work and commitment. While it may seem hard, it is one of the most rewarding experiences in life.

You will need to consistently adapt in order to overcome ups and downs. But a healthy relationship where you both feel deeply connected to the other person is possible.

What Makes A Relationship Healthy?

Every single relationship is unique, and you need to know what you want your relationship to be for it to be healthy.

Understand both of your wants and needs and how you can achieve them in a way that will suit both of you. This doesn’t have to be a sit-down conversation with a pen and paper, but it does need to be generally understood by both parties.

While every relationship is different, there are some aspects of a healthy relationship that is common no matter what your goals are. Below, we go over some of the things that can help to build a strong relationship.

Respect for one another’s time and privacy

Partners don’t have to constantly be together or know everything that the other person is doing, while you are together you both do still have your own lives.

Sometimes a secret can be kept in order to protect the other person, or the other person simply enjoys time alone.

Respect for people’s privacy is important, especially in relationships.

You are comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to each other

Communication in a relationship should be free for any topics to be discussed without fear, even negative ones. In fact, discussing concerns can help to build up better communication and trust in your relationship.

People shouldn’t be scared to talk to their partner about a certain topic as this can cause that person to become distant.

You feel physically safe

No purposeful injuries should happen in a relationship, and if they are happening to you, or you feel like they could happen to you, then you are not in a healthy relationship.

Physical safety doesn’t just involve injuries, but also feeling uncomfortable or forced into situations you don’t agree with.

You feel emotionally safe

Many people overlook emotional safety, but it is just as important as feeling physically safe.

You should feel safe to share all of your emotions with your partner, no matter if they are positive or negative.

There is a large difference between being loved and feeling loved, and your partner should make you feel loved every day.

You have boundaries

Boundaries aren’t a sign of mistrust and are actually a sign that you trust that person with a vulnerable side of you and will respect your limits.

Everyone is different and can have boundaries in different parts of the relationship such as physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual.

Each of you will need to know how to meet each other’s needs without reaching one of their limits. And if a boundary has been crossed, how to have a healthy conversation about what went wrong and how it can be avoided in the future.

A strict checklist isn’t needed, only honest conversation. Bring up when something makes you feel uncomfortable and respect when your partner does the same.

Some people have boundaries in place that they don’t want to be there and want to work through them with a trustworthy partner. These should be taken slowly and done only when each party is comfortable with any negative outcomes.

You have trust

Trust is built through honest open communication when both people are comfortable being vulnerable with each other.

A healthy relationship cannot be built on lies and secrets. That is not to say there is no lying or secrets in a relationship as that is unrealistic to believe that. Just make sure they are not going to damage your relationship with that person and aren’t harmful.

You have consent

Consent is commonly discussed in terms of sexual activity, but is needed in many different parts of a relationship.

It shows that both people are equal and have a level of respect for each other as they know they are on the same page.

Consent can be taken away at any point, and receiving it once isn’t a sign that you have consent for the rest of your life.

Get To Know Your Partner’s Love Language

There are 5 love languages:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

These are the ways that most people see themselves as being loved, most people gravitate to one or two of these love languages.

Knowing your partner’s love language is the best way to show your affection to them.

Get To Know Your Own Love Language

Knowing your own love language isn’t easy especially if you have never been in a healthy relationship. It may take some trial and error but it is important to know for both yourself and your partner.

It is okay if you and your partner have different love languages, but it is of course easier if you both have the same. It is important to note, that even if you do share a love language, you may want it in different ways. For example, if you both have quality time as a love language, one of you may want to spend time going on walks or playing sports, whereas the other person just wants to watch a movie together.

Be Yourself

Everyone wants to find someone who loves them for who they are, and you cannot have that if you do not act like yourself in a relationship.

If your partner cannot accept you for who you are, then you shouldn’t be with them.

Be Patient

Despite 42% of people agreeing with the statement “love at first sight”, love actually takes a lot of time. You can feel attracted to someone at first sight, but love only truly comes when you learn about a person.

Some people are more closed off than others and will need time to open up to someone, even if they trust them completely. Everyone lives at a different pace and you will need to be patient with them.

Be Open-Minded

Being open-minded allows you to gain much more out of your relationship. It means that your partner will be willing to share more with you as they aren’t afraid of you shooting down their ideas.

This mentality will possibly help you find your ‘true love’ as you are more open to different personalities and activities.

How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship

Once you have created a healthy relationship, it is time to maintain and strengthen it.

This includes not just focusing on the positive parts of it but also understanding what parts need work.

When in a long-term relationship, sometimes people will see their relationship as second nature and not put as much effort into it. It is common in long relationships for each person to let disputes, no matter how big or small, build up over time until it explodes into a large and damaging argument.

Not putting in the effort can also create an imbalance in the relationship, especially if one-half is still putting in an effort. Selfishness and unbalanced ties in a relationship are one of the top reasons that relationships fail.

Quality Time

Spending time together, even if it is in silence, is one of the best ways to maintain a strong relationship. It shows that you still enjoy the company of the other and can help you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Even a few minutes of face-to-face connection a day can improve your relationship. It is better to be with the person instead of just texting or calling as that can seem distant.

If you become distant physically, you will soon become distant emotionally.

Communication Is Key

Communication is arguably the most important part of maintaining a strong relationship. It is how you address conflicts, tell each other how much you love them, and also anything trivial that can connect you on another level.

Having an open and honest conversation with your partner can help you understand each other’s needs, fears, and desires. Of course, conversations aren’t just about talking, you need to remember to listen to your partner and understand what they are saying.

Any serious conversation should require no guesswork surrounding what each other wants. If you rely on riddles or metaphors, your partner could get confused about what you want or even assume that everything is alright.

You will also need to learn your partner’s non-verbal communication cues to understand what they are feeling without them having to verbalize it.

Intimacy

Intimacy is one of the things that separates romantic love from other kinds of love. It is also one of the easiest ways to show your partner that you love them.

This can be through simple actions such as hand-holding, kissing, and hugging. Or more explicit actions.

It is also important to note what your partner doesn’t like and know what you don’t like. This way both of you are able to get the most pleasure and enjoyment from your intimacy.

Compromise

You and your partner are 2 different people, and you will always have some form of disagreement. This is normal and should be resolved through either honest conversation or compromise.

It is okay to agree to disagree, as long as you are both flexible with the outcome. If only one person makes all of the decisions in a relationship, it becomes unbalanced and unhealthy.

Be Prepared For Highs And Lows

No relationship is perfect and while there will be a lot of highs, there will always be lows. These lows aren’t the end of a relationship and are merely hurdles to overcome.

The lows are usually unpredictable and can also only affect one-half of the relationship. In these situations, you need to work through them together and not try to force a solution as that can usually escalate the situation.

Be Realistic

If you put a person or relationship on a pedestal then you are setting yourself up for failure. Everything has flaws and you have to accept that.

It is okay to have disagreements, you just need to learn how to resolve the conflict so that the relationship comes out of it stronger than it was.

You need to accept people as they are and want people to do the same for you. Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment and arguments.

Be Dependable

Being a dependable person is one of the few ways that you can build up trust between people. This means following through with plans and being there when your partner needs you.

You also want your partner to be dependable and do the same for you.

Keep Your Life Balanced

Your relationship shouldn’t dominate your life, you are still your own person outside of your partner.

This means maintaining your outside hobbies, interests, and friends, it is important for you to do things without your partner. They should respect your independence just as you should respect theirs.

Being heavily dependent on each other is a toxic way of thinking, as it allows for no room for growth as a person.

Respect Yourself

You need to respect and love yourself before you can do the same for others. This is the only way to create an equal relationship. Be proud of yourself and the accomplishments that have led you to a healthy relationship.

During a relationship, you need to take time to care for yourself. If you put too much of yourself into a relationship without receiving anything in return, you can wear yourself out both physically and emotionally.

Celebrate Your Differences

Our differences are what makes each person who they are, and can be what attracts us to the other person in the first place.

Celebrate what your partner brings to the table that you don’t, as that is what keeps your relationship interesting.

Accountability

It is human to make mistakes, and admitting that you did is one of the hardest parts of living. But if you want your relationship to be healthy, you will need to take accountability when at fault.

You shouldn’t blame others for what you have done. Taking responsibility proves you to be a trustworthy person who is willing to learn.

Be Playful

You are free to be yourself around the ones you love, this includes the fun and playful side of you.

Laughing together and messing around is a great way to bring out your inner child and create lasting memories with the one you love.

Show Your Appreciation Regularly

Even if you love each other, affirmation is always nice. Don’t be shy to show your appreciation through your partner’s love language or simple romantic gestures.

Always Be Honest

Too many lies can destroy your trust in a person, which is why honesty is important in a relationship. You need to tell each other exactly what you need, with no language that can be misinterpreted.

One of the most common ways that people are dishonest with their partners is through infidelity. A study found that around 20% of men reported that they had sex with another person while they were married.

Being honest about what you need can help to limit the number of people who turn to infidelity.

Protect Your Partner

It is a natural instinct to want to protect those you care about. It also shows your partner that you will always be there when they need you to be.

This protection can be both physical and emotional, but it should never be all-consuming. If you protect your partner from everything that could hurt them they will never be able to live their life to the fullest.

Top Tips For Guys

Love is one of the most difficult and rewarding feelings in the universe, and everyone deserves to feel it at least once.

While it will never be easy and will require constant effort, we have included some tips that can help you with your next relationship.

Designate A Monthly Date Night

This can help you achieve much-needed quality time and enjoy each other’s company.

It can be a simple outing or an extravagant date. As long as you are together it doesn’t matter.

Every couple has fond memories of their dating phase, and a monthly date night can help to rekindle that passion.

A monthly date is also a fantastic time to try something new that both of you have been wanting to try. Use this time to create lasting memories with each other out of your busy schedules.

Ask Your Partner Something New

While communication is important, sometimes it can become routine if you are asking each other the same questions every day.

Keep it refreshing and start new conversations. Go into meaningful discussions or follow through with something that piqued your interest.

Be Appreciative

Don’t fall into a state where you expect certain things to be met and don’t think to appreciate your partner. Even a simple thank you is enough to show you are appreciative of what they do.

Remember The Small Things

Truly listen to your partner as that is how you get to know them better. If you remember the small things then you can mention them again in the future to show you are paying attention to them.

It can also help you get some gift ideas if you listen to them, which is a notoriously difficult task for those in long-term relationships.

Let Go Of The Past

You should always be trying to move forward, and holding onto the past can damage a relationship.

Never bring up an old argument into a new one, as that just creates double the problems. Consider why you are still dwelling on your past and why it is affecting you so much.

You should also learn and be willing to forgive. Not just your partner, but also yourself.

Show Your Affection

Show your partner that they are still an important part of your life, either through large or small actions.

Over time you will learn new ways to show affection for your partner which is one of the greatest parts about being with a person for a long time.

Do Not Disregard Your Partner’s Feelings

Everyone’s feelings matter, especially your partners. Even if you do not agree with what they are saying, you cannot disregard them as they are entitled to feel however they want.

If you believe their feelings are irrational, then you simply need to talk through them with your partner. Understand why they are feeling that way and what you can do to help.

Do Not Take Your Partner For Granted

Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn’t mean your partner is obligated to do anything for you. Anything they do you should be thankful for and return the favor at a later date.

Summary

Not all relationships are the same, and neither are all men. What is a healthy relationship for you, may not be the same for another person. Everyone’s circumstances and needs are different, but hopefully, this article has helped a little in establishing a healthy relationship.

No matter how many times you have previously failed, a better relationship is always possible. Every failed relationship is another opportunity to learn and become a better partner and person.

The longer you are in a relationship with a person, the more you may find your relationship changing. This is completely normal. What you desired in your 20s is completely different from what you want in your 30s. People also change as they get older, their personalities and interests adapt and you must learn to love the person that they are and the person that they will become.

Relationships can help you feel valued as a person and meet someone who truly understands you, but it is not everything in life. If you find yourself consistently failing in love, it may be time to step back and love and improve yourself.