My ex won’t talk to me. I hear it all the time and I want to help you figure this tough time in your life out.
Things can get nasty After a breakup happens. It takes a lot of negative energy for people to come to the conclusion that breaking up is the best option
Your ex got to the point where they no longer want to spend their time and energy with you.
This normally happens because of up-built-up negative energy.
Fighting will drive people away from each other just like having fun, positive dates will bring people closer together
Whenever people inquire about coaching they always tell me that they’ve been fighting with their ex a lot and that one final fight brought on the breakup
This is not the case. They are leaving because of the built-up negativity over time. Remember that.
How to get your ex back in 10 steps
MY EX WON’T TALK TO ME
They are avoiding speaking to you because they need some space from you. If they associate you with a bad time they won’t be quick to come around.
One thing you might notice is they start hanging out with friends or partying
This is normal because they want to start having more positive experiences again
Emotions run high during the final weeks of a breakup. They have been thinking about leaving for some time now.
They are wondering when the best time to do it is. They are also wondering if it’s the right decision to make which is why they will ask for space before ending things with you.
They are also emotionally distant when they want to get out of the relationship with you and they might even offer friendship. DO NOT ACCEPT THIS
In my one on one coaching sessions, I talk about something called the emotional dial
it’s a cheesy way of saying the emotions are too high right now and need to come down before engaging in an interaction with you
They just don’t want to see you right now
Taking the time to focus on yourself is vitally important during this time away from your ex
You need to analyze what went wrong so you can go back and fix the behavior
Some people don’t want to accept that they are the issue. It’s ok. 99 percent of people aren’t educated on this material and simply just don’t know what sparks attraction
What’s not okay is knowing that you have issues and not doing anything about it
Some people have issues with setting boundaries
Some people have issues with communication (a huge one here)
Some people have individual issues they need to work out
If you have negativity from your personal individual life following you back to your relationship it’s not a good thing
A good example of this is a job you hate
too many people have a job they despise and they bring that negative energy home with them
(I will be introducing a way to make money online on another website that i will link here when its ready)
After some time they will want to get away from that. Some people take weeks of negative energy to want to get away from it. Some people take months or even years
They will push you away until they have enough breathing room to think about how they feel about you and the relationship
You need to let them go to get them back (My ex won’t talk to me)
Taking a step back is really important for getting them back in your life
(By the way, I’m not promising this will bring anyone back, but this is the best approach)
I know that letting them go sounds scary and that’s because it is!
Being attached is also scary because it creates this need for them in your life
You need to break that need for them and focus on yourself
You’re going to think “I’m going to lose them forever if I let them go”
That will happen if you over pursue them too. Remember they need space from you in order to miss you enough to come back
They chose to be with you in the beginning and they need to choose you again. That CANNOT happen if you’re waiting for them or chasing them down
Does my ex hate me? (my ex won’t talk to me)
No, they don’t hate you ( unless there was some serious abuse or something like that)
They just want to feel like themselves again
it’s very common for people to feel like they got lost in a relationship
that’s what happens with too much negative energy
people get defensive and they turn defense mode on
If this is happening it’s much more difficult for love to come through
The one thing you need to focus on is FORWARD ACTION
it is completely pointless for you to focus on all the stuff you did wrong and then bash yourself for it
Yes, recognize what happened. Learn from the mistakes. Now don’t repeat them
I have coached many people out of this negative thinking and helped them focus their energy on things that they can control
Is your individual life a mess?
Sometimes life can be a total wasteland for some people
Sometimes you get dealt a bad hand over and over and its so easy to get caught up in the negative spiral of emotion that all these bad events bring
“When it rains it pours”
Bad things happen. It is up to you to come out the other side and push forward.
Not many relationships can withstand bad times for too long
some people are tougher than others and will stay longer because they believe in loyalty or maybe they believe in you and that you can turn things around
Ask those hard questions to yourself
Are you the best version of yourself?
Life will literally tell you the answer. Some people think they have all the answers.
I often hear “I have no problems with women” when they do coaching with me
When I listen to their stories I can find out within about 5 minutes what the issue is
To be honest with you most people have a hard time sustaining attraction over time
A large portion of breakups happen when someone in the relationship goes through a hard time and they rely on the other to pick them up and keep them standing
Sometimes people lose a job or deal with a death in the family.
I do think that your partner should be there for you and help you through a hard time but you have to understand that things should not remain this way
How to use the no contact rule properly if your ex isn’t on speaking terms with you
People want what they can’t have
Its human nature for us to take things for granted unless we remind ourselves often that what we have is rare so then we can appreciate it
Well your ex doesn’t appreciate your time and energy anymore. They no longer care so give them the space and time they are asking for
The process of this is difficult and you must cut all forms of communication while your ex doesn’t want to speak to you
During this time you MUST have a work-on-yourself strategy
Working on yourself is a general thing to say
What i get my clients to do is focus on one area at a time
Where your focus goes energy flows they say
Its so true
i personally had serious problems understanding women. I used to be a so-called nice guy and that was NOT and is not what women are looking for
They do want you to be nice to them but they also need to know you have a spine
This is why they test your strength
Your ex is used to having access to you
Now that they have broken things off they are going to stop messaging you so much
However, oftentimes they will send you a text. Now sometimes it’s a direct approach like “I forgot my sweater at your place can i come get it”
Sometimes it’s a totally different thing. Sometimes they will just say “Hey, how are you”
Either way – DO NOT IGNORE THEM
That’s not what no contact is. It means you don’t reach out to them first.
I have literally had students in situations where their ex reached out to them and they just ignored it…
If they do reach out to you answer their messages but TAKE YOUR TIME DOING SO
make your time and energy seem scarce
People value what is scarce so now that they put that wedge there accept it and go work on your power level
When you take time to answer them they are going to begin thinking that you’re time is rarer and harder to come by and it should be to someone that discarded you
I’m always going to be on the side of empowering you
The true goal here is to remain busy and focused. The hardest thing to do is sit around while doing nothing and focus on each day that goes by wondering if your ex is going to message you or not
Make a few goals and stick to them
What to do if your ex does message you
See what they want
Many students get all caught up in the emotion of the whole breakup which is normal
But I get a lot of questions about what to do when your ex texts you or calls you
Many people don’t want to break the no contact rule but your ex is literally messaging you right now
It’s almost like the idea of progress gets into some peoples heads
You have to know what the ultimate goal is
To get your ex back right? or at least to learn a lesson!
If they message you see what it is they want. Sometimes they actually do want to talk to you and sometimes they are just going to see if you will respond
Don’t seek out new women until you’ve healed
This is important and so many dudes mess this up
Just don’t do it. it’s not fair to the person you’re seeing but its also sets you up for failure
The first reason behind this is you are NOT ready to be in a relationship
Relationships are about giving and receiving and many people enter rebound relationships not fully able to give to anyone
How can you give to someone else when you’re hurt and need to focus on yourself
Just because your ex won’t talk to you doesn’t mean you should go seek someone else out right away
The second reason is the person you are now seeing (the new rebound) is fully committed to you and you are going in just to have some company
Most people aren’t going to enter a relationship expecting it to be long term right away but people also don’t want to waste their time
that is the purpose of dating (to see if you and the person you’re seeing are compatible)
If you start dating someone new they will wonder why you’re not fully there. You will be hot and cold with your new person
Just stay single for a while and focus on healing and getting your mind right
You are also going to hear a lot of shitty advice from the people around you telling you to go find someone new (which you should when you’re ready)
Don’t listen to them. Most people have no clue what they’re doing in regards to attraction and relationships
They will simply regurgitate advice they heard when they were going through it
Should you put your success online?
I get that you want to show your ex that you have improved so that they will reach out to you
However, doing anything for someone else is trying to get their attention or approval when you’re getting nothing from them at all
I think if you already do post online then continue to do so
if you don’t then don’t even bother
Do not do things for other people’s opinions. You are attention seeking if you behave like that
DO these things like self-improvement for you! when you do things like that for yourself your vibe completely changes
This is the energy of someone that is attractive. When you’re completely focused on your purpose and growth it will show and you will notice the results
When they eventually do reach out to you some of the work has been done. You can invite them out and see if they will come to see you in person
I would recommend a short walk/coffee date to gauge her interest level toward you
Oftentimes people get far too ahead of themselves and will think about what they should say or do when their ex does get in contact with them
The first piece of the puzzle is to see if they will even talk to you again
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